Head Pain

I've been getting headaches. Not terrible ones, lingerers that squat on my temples waiting for a reason to spring. Now that I've become a pain-killing-pill-popper like House I am encouraged to trace the epidemiological roots of these headaches which are undoubtedly linked to either of the two most significant recent changes in my life: marriage or Guam. Here are the possibilities (if I had a dry-erase board I would be using it here).

1. Hard Water: Guam tap water is heavy on the minerals. There is a cut copper pipe specimen sitting on the desk of the biology teacher I was subbing for showing calcium deposits that have nearly closed off the hole. I imagine that could be going on in the capillaries in my brain.

2. Sunglasses: Besides the overwhelming amount of sunshine, many of Guam's roads are made of coral, which is light grey like concrete and reflects the rampant sunshine exponentially, forcing me to wear sunglasses most of the day (and also because I like to look cool). I do not often wear sunglasses because something in my face disagrees with them: they pinch a nerve or block a vessel or pressure a point. Whatever the cause: sunglasses = headaches. But should they continue after I've removed them?

3. Dress Codes: Guam's private schools are all Catholic and have dress codes for students and teachers. I wear a tie to work, most of which Sloan thinks are ugly as sin, and they cause unaccustomed to pressure on my neck that my five years of woodworking failed to prepare me for.


6. Deliveries: This is more of a metaphorical headache and I think the busted box closely approximates the feeling of my head. We had a number of packages shipped to us around October 12th, Priority. Three of seven, or so, have arrived in the span of 2 weeks, all in various states of ill treatment. They look like they've been opened with a rolling pin, punched, or juggled Ace Ventura style. Apparently now things can't be shipped from Maryland to Guam due to some "security threat," quite possibly some guy at the USPS Guam office with a rolling pin. We are still waiting for 3.

7. Cheap Beer: Because UOG is bad at paperwork and I currently only have intermittent job options, we are on budget lockdown or a spending freeze. I imagine other young peoples hoping to buy a house or having kids or attending school are in a similar doldrums. We are cutting back, limiting excess, being vigilant. Now, because we're on Guam and Budwiser is a major sponsor of basically every sporting and entertainment event, an influential community organizer and co-founder of the "I Recycle Program" (a grassroots initiative to recycle mostly their own cans), I couldn't give up beer entirely. Lucky for me, there are a few cheaper beer alternatives available and while I don't want to offend anyone's personal preferences let me just say that the headaches are hardly worth the extra pocket change.

5. Marriage: Actually, that one's going pretty good.

Feel free to comment on other possible causes, homeopathic remedies, or to donate to the Merizo Tasty Beer Fund.